eBook I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love ePub

I'm glad I came across this book of Dr. Orion's experience as I have never heard of "erotomania." While Fran Nightingale is indeed a pitiful example of a human being, I agree with the author that little sympathy is given to victims of stalkers--that somehow they caused the stalking. It's terrifying the damage one stalker can cause to a person's life, so imagine the damage caused when there is more than one stalker in concert! Gang stalking is real and the stalkers know not to "threaten" their target's life, although their means and what they do is harassment--constant, unrelenting harassment to drive their victims crazy. I'd like to see an anti-harassment law in place. California recently passed an anti-bullying statute, but it has little teeth against perpetrators.

Dr. Orion points out that Fran's psyche meds did not control her erotomania behavior and also points out this particular type of stalker tends to be high-functioning and have means--they hold a job, own a car, have money to travel. In Fran's case her parents enabled her behavior by paying for her attorneys and legal fees. I especially liked how Dr. Orion included a history on "erotomania," and was willing to share her ignorance of the subject in light she was a trained medical doctor. This condition obviously is little understood, and needs more study. From what I know about human psychology it sounds like erotomania may be a personality disorder, or brain dysfunction, as a result of childhood/adolescent trauma, which Dr. Orion alluded to and that illicit drug use could exacerbate an already existing disorder. Fran was a marijuana user during her adolescence and later as an adult. There is a marijuana bill up in California for legalization, and I hope Governor Brown makes good on his promise and will Veto that bill. I'm not against marijuana for medicinal uses--it has beneficial qualities--but to make it legal for people to use to alter consciousness in recreation I don't agree with it because marijuana use damages people.

From what I can ascertain, and know, most if not all of my stalkers are marijuana users. Perhaps many Californians think it's great to legalize pot, but guess what folks, employers don't have to hire pot smokers--who are not a protected class. Most legitimate companies in California require drug testing and background checks--some even have random drug testing after employment. Good luck getting and keeping a job in California if you smoke pot! Marijuana is just as addicting as other mind-altering substances, such as alcohol, although pot smokers are in denial.

Just like Fran was delusional and in denial of her disorder, no one could get Fran to stop stalking. Dr. Orion was stalked for almost a decade. The book also tells other erotomania stalker stories, some that have been reported in the news media that ended in tragedy, and others from non-famous people.

I recommend the book if you are a victim of stalking, or have been a victim, as it may help in understanding the why of who in your particular case--although not all stalkers fall under erotomania, but I think there may be a strong component of erotomania to stalking. In other words, the stalker may not say explicitly, like Fran Nightingale said, "I know you love me," but are projecting their obsession on to their target/victim insinuating they do without saying it. Again, Dr. Orion says these stalkers tend to be high-functioning people.

An example of government stalking in the film, "The Lives of Others," which takes place in East Berlin during the time of the cold war, shows Stasi Captain Wiesler spying on a writer who is thought to be an enemy of the state. The mundane job of documenting the writer's daily activities becomes a source of erotica for the Stasi spy.

The story does take place more than 20 years ago, so things have changed since then. With today's technology there are ways to mitigate the effects of stalking. Cell phones can be programmed to block certain numbers. The android phone in particular can block unwanted "unknown" and "unidentified" callers so that the stalker doesn't get the satisfaction of leaving their sick messages or chronic hang ups. Also victims of stalking probably should not be on social media without restraint.

I conclude with my favorite quote in the book on page 264: "...Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis: 'The most basic right a citizen has is to be left alone.' The essential truth in that quotation resonated through me."

As does me, and anyone who has been stalked, harassed, or assaulted feels the same.

I would have given the review 5 stars, but the book could have been edited better.

I borrowed this book from a friend and loved it. Had to buy my own copy. There aren't many good books about Erotomania that aren't written in a very clinical sense. This book has a very personal feel to it (being written by someone with an erotomanic stalker.)
If erotomania is a subject that interests you, I also recommend "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" starring Audrey Tautou.

Interesting topic. Drags a bit at times, maybe could have been a little shorter, but overall a good book to learn about this terrible problem.

My feelings about this book are mixed. It is a riveting read which covers the subject of stalking and the mental illness behind it, and does so in a thorough manner. However, the author fits the description of a jackboot Nazi. Ironic (?) given that she identifies herself as a Jew. Maybe she's a Zionist?

Anyway. The subject of this book at times is the stalker, a deeply mentally ill woman who is a lesbian, and who keeps falling in love with one woman at a time who does not requite her affection. The author Dr. Orion is one of those women. I could not help noticing right from the beginning of the book the sensible attitude of Dr. Orion's boyfriend, who advised the author to just ignore the stalker, who was not really all that annoying. All she did was send notes and occasionally show up at the hospitable where Dr. Orion worked (she was getting treatment there). The more I read the more I felt sorry for the "stalker".

Then I became alarmed as I read about Dr. Orion's hysterical push for ever more draconian laws to allow hysterical people such as herself to incarcerate people who fall in love.

Did you know that as of 1996 it is possible for you to be imprisoned (in Federal prison) for stalking because someone fears you? You read that correctly. You need never say or do anything threatening to someone. By continuing to send notes to someone as the stalker in this book does is enough to get a long Federal prison sentence if that person claims to be in fear of you!

Dr. Orion is an advocate of such laws.

Read this book and take note that the stalker in question never-which includes near two decades of "stalking behavior"-in her life committed any violence nor even threatened to commit violence. Yet Dr. Orion had her imprisoned and complains to the end of the book that this is not enough. Dr. Orion-a psychiatrist!-should have her license revoked. Her behavior is the equivalent of a heart doctor refusing to provide care to an ill patient because she does not like the person's appearance or personality.

Find another line of work Dr. Orion; perhaps overseeing the CIA's kidnap and torture program.

I Know You Really Love Me was recommended to me when I had some concerns about someone I was casually dating. I was immediately enthralled as the author's voice took over and I became caught up in her fear and confusion over what was happening to her. Filled with detailed information presented in an interesting way, it made sense to me as a layperson without "dumbing it down". I had a clearer understanding of the disease as well as a better perspective on the tales I hear in the media. And I was inspired in general by her perseverance and courage in fighting for her own and other victim's rights. Plus it was a darn good read!

I applaude Dr. Orion's courage in writing this book. Her personal eight year experience with her stalker, police departments, and the court system has brought forth a book that is both informative and enjoyable to read. I only wish that I had this information 2 years ago. I hope that "I Know You Really Love Me" will be the stepping stone in increasing the awareness of how prevalent stalking is for the average human.
I am very proud of you for writing this book.